Fast friends

Gabe and Krysta, two of my canvassers, are going on at 10 day fast. Right now they’re on fruits and vegetables only. Tomorrow they start consuming nothing but a mix of water, cayenne pepper and lemon juice. For 10 days. Crapping out god knows what the whole time. I was trying to think of something I could give up to be supportive of them. After ruling out coffee, cheese and beer, I settled on Starburst. I’m not going to eat Starburst for 10 days. I’m a little concerned about the two of them. Apparently after two days, the hunger pains go away. But our job involves standing in place for five hours and holding many conversations. I foresee collapse. The office is doing really well lately, and if this wacky fast thing starts to drop the average, I’m going to have to start eating a lot of delicious, enticing foods in their midst until they cave. Krysta is the weaker of the two, so I’ll target her mostly. Gabe is narcoleptic, so when he passes out, I’ll feed him in his sleep. Another downside of the fast is that Gabe and Krysta are excellent cooks, known for inviting us over for dinner parties periodically. Now what the hell are we going to do before we play Taboo?

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