Fucked up

I really ought not get into the details of this, but I recently discovered that someone I know is implicated in two robbery/homicides and an additional murder of his girlfriend. It’s not like I know him well or anything, but damn. I actually met him after the first murder and knew him during the period of the second murder. He and his friend were arrested with fairly damning evidence. I keep telling myself that he couldn’t have done it, and that it must have been the crazy friend, but you never really know do you? I’ve had a whole range of reactions in the last few days, but the one I was most surprised by was fear. I was extremely jumpy for the day or so after I found out. It’s real easy to forget the fact that murder happens. People kill people. Real people. People we know and interact with. I just thought again about all of the peoples’ doors I’ve knocked on and how statistically, I’ve met a handful of psychopaths. I still haven’t really wrapped my head around it. On the other end of my surprise at the jumpiness, I’m sad to say I’ve thought of the victims almost not at all. This could be because it’s too hard and real to put much thought into the dead, the actual tragedy. Or it could be because my peripheral connection is about me, and therefore, far more interesting. God I hope it’s the first one.

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