Battle of drug-addled minds

Last Friday I drank too much coffee before heading home around 8 p.m., and passed a bunch of bars along the way. The weekend was just starting and while I was wired, the vast majority of people on the street were already half-drunk.

I started to think (with a fierce, scattered line of thought the caffeine addict knows well) that right at that time of day and week, in that location, I was practically superhuman. So many people were drunk here, their senses, reflexes and judgements dulled by alcohol. I hadn’t had a drop, and I was thinking and reacting really quickly as a result of all the coffee. To them, I must have been like Lex Luthor, or The Flash! I could run circles around them and pull their pants down or switch around their hats and all kinds of pranks.

Then I realized that, since we’re really just talking about a difference in perception, they really had the edge. A few beers deep, most of them probably were feeling indestructible, a little violent and really good looking. If caffeine made me a wily, shifty villain, booze had surrounded me with Supermen. So I went to my apartment, cracked open a beer and joined the Justice League of America.

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