Portland stories

Chris came to Portland following a girl. He’s a bony type, who just by the look of him, you can tell is somewhat of an elitist. He came from California to chase after a girl who very shortly after dumped him. Fortunately for him, Chris met another girl who kept him in Portland, a cute one with blackish hair and an inattentive look on her face. We first met him on our second visit to the Matador bar, when he and second girl were in the middle of a nasty breakup at the end of the bar. Meanwhile, this curly red haired guy was clapping his hands and spastically dancing to whatever music was on just feet from Chris and his second Portland girlfriend. We watched and bet that a nasty breakup was being interrupted by crazy bastard in a purple silk shirt who loves to clap. Months passed and we saw the clapper constantly, and he is a bizzare person. We saw Chris occasionally after, and learned that yes, in fact, she dumped him and he was very concerned about losing their cat. Tonight, after several weeks never seeing Chris, we saw him. Girlfriend free. Has the cat. Has a strange haircut now. Really likes Casey and remembered us, but was amazed that we remembered him and his disastrous trail of girlfriends.

Jason and I have hit it off, but his history with me and alcohol is pretty outrageous. The first job we shared, he drank a bunch of whiskey and pulled ceiling tiles from our office after the boss shorted his pay and accused him of being gay. Our second job was tame, until our first happy hour, when he pulled out a Percoset and became incoherent and nauseated. We had an impromptu slumber party and have gotten along well ever since. He’s from PHX and his roommate went to UA the exact year that I did.

There’s a sign at my job right now that reads “Saving dollars and using good sense puts money in our pocket.” The picture is of a denim pocket with an ATT logo and money either flying in or out. It reeks of propaganda, and my co-worker has posted a German phrase that translates, “Work makes you free,” quoted from above the gates of Auschwitz, on her computer screensaver.

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